Heroes Aren’t Hard to Find

I scan the shelves for anything X-Men, totally out of my element. I thumb through Daredevil, Black Panther, Green Hornet, Black Widow… what’s with all the colors? Who the hell is Hawkman? And Iron Fist? Who is that supposed to reference, Stalin? Next up is Jean Gray, Green Lantern… again, with the colors, geez. Why can’t super heroes just have awesome powers without being so damn colorful? Oooh, STORM. Now that’s a character I can get behind. A woman whose extreme and erratic emotions cause severe thunderstorms, hurricanes, and tornadoes that wreak havoc on those around her… hmmm, sounds like a regular ol’ Friday night to me.

I decide to buy three X-Men comic books. Your birthday is coming up. I know you’re going to love these, you’ve always loved comic book characters and the movies that accompany them, especially X-Men.

Years later, I drive by the same comic book store, not having set foot in there since that day. It recently moved and I had honestly forgotten about it in its new, tucked-away location. I wonder to myself, “Did I ever take Dad there?” In my head, I respond, “Pretty sure I didn’t. He would have loved that store.” The internal dialogue keeps playing on. How could I forget to take him somewhere made for him? How could I be so thoughtless? All the countless times he had been to Charlotte and it was just right there down the road. The regret sets in, heavy like those damn thunderstorms. I feel the rain well up inside me, an endless, wild river in my chest. The pressure feels like I’m drowning in the current. The thunder booms from my anger that I couldn’t do anything to save you. I see flashes of light behind my eyes from the rage of not being able to say goodbye. If I had known the end was coming so soon, I would have taken you to that stupid comic store. I tell myself I won’t drive by there again.

The sign over the door is right though – my hero wasn’t hard to find. You were right there by my side all along. A real life Superman, the quintessential hero. A man with a strong sense of purpose, morality and compassion for others, by definition. Raised with a belief that your gifts and talents were to be used for good and not abused, your powers to be used to save others. If only you could have seen your own power the way I saw it in you. Your selflessness was your greatest quality, but also your kryptonite.